A life "in Order"

The man sitting in front of me proudly proclaims, “I have my life in order and it feels real good.” I find myself strangely proud of this client as I am keenly aware that the requirements upon him currently are much more stringent than that of clients still living within the residential substance abuse program.

            There is something about the glow of this man’s face; something concerning the peace exhibited by the relaxed nature of his jaw and the gentle presence of wrinkles at his eyes that tell me he believes what he is saying to be true.  

Facing imminent death, doctors will often tell their patients to “get their life in order”. Although seldom a desired statement (especially from a trusted physician intimately aware of the peculiarities of our case), the counsel is always wise. All this got me to wondering – why wait?

Why do we wait to get our lives in order until we have lost family, home, and job?  Why do we wait to hear such a pronouncement from our doctor and then become so devastated at the prospect of the work ahead of us?  Truth be told, like waiting to wash today’s dishes until tomorrow, we tend to hope that some how, some way, we will be absolved from the responsibility.  After all, perhaps someone else will do it. And if not, we rationalize; we can always do it later.

I’m not beating the drum of “tomorrow is guaranteed to no one”.  Although true, that is not what is filling my mind.  What amazes me is that this globe is literally jammed with people who do not possess the peace that accompanies one who has his/her life in order. I find that incredibly sad.

Can you say what my client said today and mean it?  If not, do you have a plan to make it happen?  What would your “life in order” even look like?  John Denver said, “There are many ways of being in this circle we call life” – if he was right, then perhaps your life “in order” would look differently than my client’s, or mine! But here’s the thing – and there is really no way to get around this – if your life is in order you will feel good and have peace … peace that eludes those who are waiting for the doctor’s words or for tomorrow’s sunrise.

People are watching

This morning I was greeted by a client as I exited my vehicle ready to begin another day of ministry at the recovery center.  After gaining my attention, this client proclaims, “I want to let you know that a lot of people are watching you and how you treat us here.”

            The fact that he made his comment with an open posture, good eye contact, and tears in his eyes told me he was not only sincere in his comment but also that it was a positive statement and not a threat! Time, for a moment, seemed to stand still as he reached forth his hand in a gesture of good will. He is a man that trusts few. I found the moment both amazing and honoring. 

            There is, of course, a universal reality expressed here. Truth be told, we are ALL being watched, whether we know it or not … whether we like it or not.  Now we can protest and lament that we are having a bad day, physical problems, turmoil on the job, marital issues, PMS, poor karma or even bad biorhythm – yet the stark fact remains that others are watching how we treat people – and they don’t know (perhaps don’t even care) what is going on within our personal lives. 

            Now trust me, I am NOT suggesting we each adopt a plastic and fake smile to parade for the world to see.  Such disingenuousness would not serve us or anyone else for the better. I want to advocate for respect.  Respect for ourselves (yes, I am having a bad day).  Yet also respect for others (my bad day does not mean I have a license to treat you with disrespect).

            Such a way of living speaks of integrity – respect for all things and all persons within a perfect confluence of cosmic proportion.  You see, in a most fantastic way, this manner of engaging life also brings respect to our Creator.  Jesus said, “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and give glory to Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5.16)

If asked, what would people report about the light we are giving forth? Does it speak of respect, or dishonor?  People are watching.  

Let's get real!

Recently a client recorded as one of his treatment goals, “I want to figure out what God is to me.” While it is true that this is an out of the ordinary goal vis-à-vis a substance abuse treatment plan, I find that he selected it nothing less than extraordinary. 

            For anyone to seek something or someone, they must first determine that what they have or who they have is somehow insufficient.  Moreover, from ‘ground zero’ as it relates to things spiritual or religious, someone seeking must be open to the reality that what they will discover may well be an “it” rather than a “who”.

            Truly spiritual men and women know their path has been littered with struggle – pain, suffering, and error have been their teachers.  You see, spirituality should never be confused with religion.  The term spirituality involves finding meaning and purpose in one’s life and experiences. It encompasses a person’s philosophy of life and world view. Spirituality, then, refers to our inner belief system.  Conversely, religion refers to the externals of our belief system and has to do with such things as church, prayers, traditions, rites, rituals, and etcetera.  Religion is the frame – spirituality is that which is contained inside the frame.

            I’m thinking it is this misunderstanding of the unique character of each of the aforementioned that leads so many Christians to abandon church attendance altogether.  Whenever one embraces the church (religion) so as to provide meaning and purpose for their lives (something it can never do), they will inevitably leave the same, feeling let down and unfulfilled – normally these misguided souls will seek and attend several different churches before ultimately believing they are ‘better off’ to stay home. 

Tragically, from the hallowed vantage point of their home, these misdirected individuals find they still battle emptiness – only now they can’t blame the church! Truth be told, the difficulty – the REAL difficulty – was their futile attempt to make the “context” of church replace a personal and feeble sense of spirituality. Sound familiar? It should.  It happens far too often!

Perhaps we should each take some time and ponder my client’s treatment goal.  Can you strip away or at least peal back the religious jargon and ritual long enough to stand before a mirror and proclaim, “I want to figure out what God is to me.”?

Judgment

I'm sitting in a circle of 68 men and I'm teaching a class on discrimination.  As class prepares to end I snatch my Blackberry from my side to check the time.  It is then that the man next to me asks, “Wayne, why don’t you wear a watch?”  The question is innocent enough. But somehow, in my mind at least, it seemed to dog pile upon a question asked earlier as I counseled a man who suffered great abuse while a child.  His question of me, which seemed to emerge from the deepest part of his soul, “Wayne, you are a pastor, a counselor, and successful family man, how can you possibly understand what it feels like to be abused?”

            As I look around the circle I see men of all sizes, ages, and racial backgrounds.  Yet I'm guessing each have judged me … each have sized me up and generally come to the same conclusion the earlier man had … “Wayne, how could you possibly know?” So I run the risk of class running over and I begin to embark upon what I hope will be self-revelation with a purpose. 

            “Gentlemen, when you look at others you only see what is before you.  But each person has a past and the past holds the reason for everything we do or don’t do.  Here’s why I don’t wear a watch … I was a freshman in high school returning with some 40 others from a sporting event when one of the upper classman had an idea. He teamed up with several others and, prompted by dislike, threw me up on the luggage rack. They bound my hands and feet to the bars using duck tape, having already taped my mouth. For over 3 hours they then beat, poked, pinched, and slapped me until they grew tired.  Ultimately, once arriving home, the entire bus vacated – including the coach.  Today, the only thing I wear around my wrist is the Native American wedding band.”

            Judgment comes so easy for us.  In a normal days time, each one of us quite probably makes a thousand judgments.  We judge circumstance.  We judge things.  We judge people.  And THAT is where things get dicey.  

            We can only judge people by what we see and that is what makes it so dangerous.  Jesus said, “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment." (John 7.24) I'm thinking our world would be better off if folk tried to understand before running to judge.  What do you think?

Responsibility?

Speaking before a group of high school students who had just experienced an amazing weeklong retreat within the Grand Canyon, a chaperone commented, “You have a responsibility to go out into the world and tell people what you have seen.” 

Responsibility is not a word many want to hear about in our world today; we have each met many who suffer from ‘Peter Pan’ syndrome. Yet the man who uttered the above words entered boldly into Neverland and issued his challenge.  I have a hunch that is why each of us is given such privilege to begin with. John Muir. Johann Bach. Loren Eiseley. Chief Joseph. Each embraced the responsibility to share what they had seen.

Jesus did a similar thing when he embraced HIS responsibility.  As Jesus lived His life as an example before us, He was consistent to do only what He saw the Father doing (John 5.19). He shared only what He “heard” the Father say (John 7.16).

And yet my friend, the circle doesn’t end there. We too have a responsibility. Jesus said of us, “You will be my witnesses.” (Acts 1.8). 

Our Lord does not expect us to possess eloquence He has not bestowed.  He does not require that we speak of things we know nothing about.  However, God DOES expect us to go out into the world and tell people what we have seen.  It is our responsibility to share with others the love and forgiveness we have received. Doing this doesn’t require a Master’s Degree or Bible College – it DOES require a willingness to leave Neverland and embrace responsibility.  I'm wondering, what holds so many of us back?

And so it begins ...

It was in the city of Antioch, several years after Jesus had been crucified, that the word "Christian" was first used.  The word literally meant, "Follower of Jesus" - with  perhaps a connotation of one being likened to a "little" Christ. I find it interesting and even sad that so many who are called 'Christians' remain 'little' ... remain an infant ... although the Bible certainly proclaims we should GROW UP (Ephesians 4.11-15).  Living profound Christianty is an intentional movement toward growing into the fullness of Jesus Christ -- it is being willing to take a risk and engage life in its completeness without fear -- just as Jesus, the Rabbi did. Profound Christianity means opening our eyes to see Truth as it is revealed by the Creator ... in nature, in sacred writing, in mystery, in those who have lived before us, in those living around us right now, and in embracing each moment of life as a gift. This and more is the purpose of this blog.  I invite you to join me in this adventure.